Although it is not excluded that partners have properties in common, there is generally what is called complementarity. It is within this relational scheme that the essence of the bond lies. These differences often represent the point of union of a couple, but at the same time, they can become reasons for recrimination and quarrels in the long run.
The pretension to see in the partner a series of characteristics that have never had. It is a phenomenon deriving from the individual and couple growth paths that each of us follows. It can lead to discussions and give rise to assaults and other forms of defense against the partner.
One of the distinctive characteristics of a human being compared to other animal species is love. Many authors have tried to provide a definition of love. Romantics, poets, scientists, artists, therapists, and many others have embarked on this difficult undertaking.
As an abstract term, love is not a word, therefore it is difficult to explain, especially starting from rational reasoning or which rely on logic. Trying to translate love into rational meanings and imposing a logical motivation can lead to profound complications.
Love is a feeling that emerges powerfully from the jaws of the limbic system. It is not sifted through the left, rational and logical hemisphere, although sometimes we try to understand the characteristics and peculiarities that led one person to fall in love with another. We try to reflect on love when it is already in place or when we are no longer convinced of the feeling we have towards the other person.
The partner in love feels and converts the feeling into actions that try to be consistent with what has been tried. Because after all, love is: a feeling. Unlike pure emotion which is impulsive, feeling includes emotional, cognitive and pragmatic variables. In addition to a fundamental factor: time, in charge of exercising the three variables just mentioned.
But sometimes love is confused with other emotions. Being in love is not like being trapped, tied up, hunted or captured. These are erroneous conceptions of love, feelings, and emotions that confuse and that are rather symptoms of pathological links and communicative dysfunctions.
Verbal communication is activated when two people meet and the desire for love appears on both sides. Words flow in harmony, although sometimes the fear of rejection prevents this flow from expressing itself freely. The sentences take on a more poetic approach even from less histrionic people.
In a speech, some typical cadences and tones appear. Gesture changes, mimicry becomes subtle and slow movements. The eyes narrow, the mouth moves provocatively and the gaze gives light to the game of lovers. An entire communication complex aimed at seducing the other person.
The genesis of a good couple relationship is given by being with the other person in the same way and with the same freedom that we have with ourselves. All of these are signs that accompany love desire. Signals that if paid, start the formation of a couple.
The growth of the bond leads to a knowledge of the partner's values, tastes, virtues, and defects, generating a complementarity that allows the couple to progress slowly until the shape of a family unit.
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